We did the obligatory "here's what I do as a job and here's where my future is headed" and there was a moment with one girl who was discussing her job, a great job, where she let down her defenses and became very vulnerable; she looked at the floor in mid sentence and unearthed what she really wished she was doing: a much less glamorous job... a job involving helping others. She buried it with a smile and changed the subject as quickly as she had let down her defenses. I am sure that everyone else in on the conversation were fooled by her efforts to shrug it off as if it didn't matter, but I was haunted by it.
She is following the life that others are impressed by- the life that others want her to live, but she's selling herself short.
No matter how hard I tried to steer the conversation back to it- our audience was not interested and kept turning to subjects of real-estate, gossip and makeup products. It was clear that it was only acceptable to keep the dinner conversation light, so I caved and talked about crazy Tom Cruise, lip gloss and how I don't think I'll ever own a house... but I'd love to own a backyard pool (how that would be possible- I do not know).
Everyone was really nice, but I really didn't fit into that crowd, and I couldn't figure out why. It wasn't that I felt like I was better than them, because I quite enjoyed the dumb Tom Cruise conversation (I admit that I frequent perezhilton.com from time to time).
What I realized this morning is that I didn't feel challenged by anyone that night. I am blessed to have friends that are an endless source of inspiration to me. They challenge me to take responsibility for my actions as a consumer, to love others as I love myself, to question rather than blindly accept, to do simple things for others, to love big, to take care of this earth, to LIVE it rather than talk it...
I have learned more from my friends than I have given them credit for. I am endlessly thankful to them for guiding me towards a life that goes somewhat against the status quo... for never letting me sell myself short.
3 comments:
Chels, I am so thankful to call you a friend and so thankful to learn from you - your love, your passion, your fun...YOU'RE SO MUCH! We fit - yahoo!
I love you too, Chels. Though our playdates have been few and far between, the connections we do share have been precious to me. You are also an inspiration and encouragement to others as they are to you.
whoa, for a second I thought you put my picture up by the girl who's jobs aren't helping anyone.
Just so you know, people totally need photo booths.
I'm also going to stop being your friend when you are super poor, but I will pay you to clean my pool. Likely you and scotty will swim naked when we aren't home. (and sometimes when we are)...(that's why we won't be friends anymore).
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