Finding Balance

I have been MIA.

My past two weeks have been busy. They've been a lesson in stress control... and now as I sit in the last two days of my two busy weeks, I feel I have made good progress on finding the middle ground between the B-side and the A-side of my personality.

I suffer from an all-or-nothing personality.

When I take something on, I do it BIG time. Which can be kinda good (it is not in my blood to half-ass anything), but it has it's ugly side too. I tend to go so overboard that I simply make things out to be a bigger deal than they are and turn myself into a stress-case.

... and then there's the whole "nothing" side.

I won't attempt something if I can't be sure that I won't be perfect at it. Which really translates to taking myself WAY too seriously. And once I am doing one thing at 100%, I rarely take on anything else.

I am inspired by a few of my coworkers. They work two jobs (pulling close to 50 hours a week), go to school AND make time to have pretty decent social lives. They don't seem to stress about anything, and they completely lack that annoying martyr complex that I can tend to have when I have a final exam or a big project due ("no, I can't have ANY fun for the next week because I have to study").

I like how they seem to be able to live their life amongst chaos. They make fine money, okay grades and they make sure to enjoy themselves along the way. Rather than seeing life as a bunch of endpoints, they enjoy where they're at and make the best of whatever they have.

So I used them as my inspiration as I pulled myself through these past 12 days.

8 research papers (6 regular, 2 project exams/term papers). 6 online discussion posts. Host 2 baby showers 2 Sundays in a row. Keep 40 hrs a week at work. And make sure to enjoy life (go out to dinner, beach, movies and a birthday party).

I have one paper left, and pulled off making it through these deadlines with a bit of life rather than merely surviving them. I had only a couple breakdowns (when my bunny bit my laptop powercord off right at the plug so I had nothing to work with to splice it back together... leaving me stranded for 6 hours because Scotty had the car, brought some tears).

Makes me realize how much I limit myself by taking deadlines, projects and work too seriously. Stress isn't totally inevitable, so much of it is due to choice.

So now I will finish my courses a week early, hop on a bus Thursday morning, spend the weekend working and playing at the Pemberton music fest, followed by work and play doing a kids camp in Whistler village.